Suzuki & Parenting Values

Suzuki & Parenting Values

What is Suzuki method?  
Why is it so relevant to educating & developing our children?

In this blog post I want to outline for you my thoughts on the critical elements that comprise the Suzuki method.  Why I love the Suzuki method, and why I have established Smart Suzuki Parent is that these critical elements apply to parenting and educating generally, not just music instruction.  Dr Shinichi Suzuki documented and embraced philosophies of development that are only now being scientifically proven in their validity, such as:

• All children can learn anything, given the right environment and teaching method.
• When we learn the right way, we call it ‘talent’, when we learn the wrong way, we call it ‘lack of talent’. However, it is simply a matter of relearning the the right habits to become ‘talented’.  If nothing else, Dr Suzuki and I have the belief that ‘talent is overrated’
• The importance of parental love (interest, time, enthusiasm, affection) and high expectations for children to build intrinsic self-esteem and confidence from within
• The fundamental belief that nurture more than nature drives our personality traits & characteristics.

Let me preface my blog post, by saying these are only MY ideas around Suzuki’s method. I have read and savoured his text, “Nurtured by Love” many times, with lots of annotations. I have also enjoyed very much Constance and William Starr’s book “To Learn with Love: A Companion for Suzuki Parents” and so many of my values come from these two books.  However, as with any text or theory, different meaning or nuance can be inferred by any reader.  Other good descriptions of the Suzuki method can be found on the US Suzuki website here and Australian Suzuki website here.

What I believe the critical tenets of the Suzuki method of music instruction to be are:

1 Importance of listening

Suzuki method of music instruction mimics they way that babies and children learn their mother tongue. Children learn to speak and understand, before they learn to read and write. Suzuki method requires that children listen to the pieces they are to play over and over again, rather than learn to read the musical notation on the paper at the outset.

Listening to the pieces of music to be played MANY TIMES is the critical element of a child playing the instrument using the Suzuki method.

As my son’s first year school teacher explains, a child cannot read or write what they cannot say or understand.  So with reading and writing, the ability to communicate and make language (speech and listening) must inherently come first.  With Suzuki method, the child first hears the music they will play before he plays it.  And the more familiar she is with the music, the easier it will be for her to learn to play it.

Recordings on cd are provided for all Suzuki music books. These can be ripped to mpeg files and loaded onto smart devices & music players.  I play ours in the hallway outside the boys’ room from after school until they are asleep. I have the first four piano books, and the first violin and first viola book recordings on shuffle. I also play this playlist when we are in the car – not all the time, but when we need a bit of chill out in the car.

One of the criticisms of Suzuki method is that the reading of the written music is not a priority at the beginning of music instruction. I disagree that this is a disadvantage.

With Suzuki philosophy – this would be like asking a child to learn to read at the same time as they are learning to talk.  Similarly, as when learning to write, we tend to teach the letter formation first before we ask them to write their first story.  Writing a story needs an idea, correct grammar, spelling and remembering the sentence as you write – imagine if you are trying to learn the letters at the same time – the result would be overwhelm and frustration for the child.

My 10 year old is a very proficient sight reader now, and when he came to reading music it was very quick as he already had the skills of the playing – he just had to concentrate on note reading.

My six year old is also picking up the reading very quickly as he has the basics of rhythm and notes. He also knows very well, through the years of listening, how the pieces should sound so he can map what he knows to the notes written on the page (what he doesn’t know).

This is exactly how children are taught when they start school – they start with what they know and then build upon it, stretching their comfort zone gradually.

One of the incredible benefits of not using the sheet music initially to play the instrument is the ability of all the Suzuki children to memorise longer and longer pieces of music.  I am no neurologist so I can only imagine the difference in the MRI scans of the brains of Suzuki students compared to others. The neural super highways formed through the memorizing, easily, of these pieces that they have heard played so many times must be incredible.  This must transfer to helping with other feats of memory in their education.

2 Belief that all children have the ability to develop (musical) ability.

Talent, in Suzuki’s eyes (and mine) is very overrated.  Persistence, patience and perfect practice are greater determiners of ‘talent’ than a DNA or genetic test.

I love that Suzuki, even in what I imagine was very conservative 20th Century Japan, espoused that if a child was not picking up an ability in their education (whether it be literacy, numeracy, musical ability etc) the problem was likely the educational system not the inherent defects of the child.

For me, this philosophy is empowering.  If we believe that we are each somehow a slave to our genetic makeup, that once we have been conceived the limits of what we can and can’t do are somehow already set, and somehow we exactly know what these limits are in all areas of our lives …. well frankly how boring.  If we subscribe to this fixed mindset, our potential is not linked to our hard work or adaptability.  Your lot is your lot so just accept it? No thanks.

In Suzuki’s day, and perhaps even with some teachers still, a child was ‘tested’ for musical ability before they were accepted as students.  Being able to keep rhythm, have good pitch, and the right size/shape hands may have been what was assessed?

Suzuki method fundamentally believes that every child has potential, with the right instruction for that child, and that talent is not inborn. Amen.

3 Belief that “Ability Breeds Ability”

“Ability breeds ability.” This is true on many levels.  As you move from the state of not being able to do something, to be able to do something, two things happen that create momentum.

Firstly, our self-esteem and belief in ourselves increases; our confidence goes up.  At first we can not do something, we learn from an expert, we persevere and practice, we find it frustrating, difficult, uncomfortable, and we look stupid and then we CAN do it.  This process is about creating intrinsic self esteem and intrinsic belief in ourselves.  We knew we couldn’t do it, and now we know we can.  We do not need someone external to praise us or to give us top marks on the assignment to know we have done a pretty amazing thing.  Ironically the harder the journey, the more often we feel like giving up BUT we do not – the greater the self-esteem and internal pride.  There has been so much research on the impact of our children overcoming obstacles and discomforts themselves (rather than parents protecting them from these obstacles or discomforts) as important for building resilience and their ability to survive independently in their late teens and twenties.  Without this resilience and belief in themselves, our older children are more susceptible to mental health problems as life becomes more their own responsibility and less their parents.

Secondly, if we are learning from an expert who can properly direct our efforts into the most useful activities in the right order (the right steps and the right syntax of those steps) – we become the proverbial snowball down the hill, gaining momentum and accelerating our ability.  The Suzuki pieces are not randomly thrown together in the books. The Suzuki pieces teach technical skills which need to be perfected before a child can advance in their playing.   This is why the Suzuki student maintains their repertoire as they progress – the replaying of the pieces is like lifting weights in keeping our musical muscles and neural pathways active. The Suzuki books provide the expert steps and syntax to play beautifully.

4 Role of Parent as Teacher

Suzuki method of music instruction for children requires the parent to be the teacher day in, day out.  This means that the lessons from the (paid) teacher are more guiding and instructing the parent how to teach their children rather than solely teaching the child.  All music lessons have the parent in attendance, taking notes and learning.  In fact, at the start of instruction for a child, the parent learns and plays before the child, increasing the desire of the child to be ‘grown up’ and do what the adult is doing.

This can be daunting for a parent who themselves has not learnt the instrument.  However with a genuine interest in learning the instrument, taking good notes and not being afraid to ask questions for clarification, it can be a very enjoyable experience – learning with your child.

In the role as parent-teacher, the importance of genuine joy in your child’s music and music practice is also a critical element of the Suzuki method. Dr Suzuki’s book is entitled, “Nurtured by Love” and for good reason. The daily doses of praise and affection that are provided during music practice and at the music lesson is fundamental to a child progressing. I believe this is so in EVERYTHING that a child does that is on the edge of their knowledge or comfort zone.  Our praise and joy and support is critical for them building similar joy in their growth and learning.

5 Belief that “A superior environment produces superior abilities”

Working with the belief that our destiny is not determined by our genes, what does indeed determine the personality we acquire or the ‘talents’ we gain?

Suzuki believed that “the only superior quality a child can have at birth is the ability to adapt itself with more speed and sensitivity to its environment than others”.

For music instruction specifically, the Suzuki method environment includes:

1) Parental respect for the teacher
2) Parental joy in the practice
3) Parental attention to the process of goal setting, practice and improving
4) Parental calm and love during the practice
5) Parent prioritizing practice
6) Parental scaffolding but not shielding from the discomfort of repetition
7) Parental pleasure in the music and the progress

All of these and similar environmental influences will have a direct impact on the ‘talent’ shown by the child.

6 “Now we are going to learn how to do it beautifully”

One of the audible differences between many Suzuki students and traditionally trained students, is the musicality and tone of the performance.  This is my generalization and I know there are exceptions. However with Suzuki method – playing the right notes, with the right timing in the right order does not constitute “success”.

The musicality and tone is critical with Suzuki method. The listening to the recordings enables this to happen fairly easily. The listening is a real difference with Suzuki method over traditional method.

A Suzuki teacher, when helping a child with their tone, will play the phrase in two ways and ask the child to tell them which is more beautiful. They will then be asked to play it that way, with no specific instruction necessarily. I am always so amazed at how well my children pick this up and I know it is from the listening to the pieces played that enables this.


I have written a more detailed explanation of these fundamental tenets of Suzuki method which you can download now.

Click Here for Your Copy

In speaking with many teachers of Suzuki method, and parents of children learning traditional method, there appears to be a spectrum of teaching method now.  Perhaps only few teachers sit firmly at either end of the spectrum.  The traditional method has adopted many of the Suzuki method philosophies – most notably classical examination music books now include a cd with the recordings of the pieces.  In turn, many Suzuki teachers have modified the less critical (in their eyes) elements of the philosophy such as allowing their students’ interests to dictate music choice (not just music from the Suzuki repertoire) or introducing sight reading earlier if appropriate, as examples.

I really hope this has been helpful in explaining what Suzuki method is all about. It is not just about music instruction – it is a way of thinking about how children develop, learn and grow that infiltrates all aspects of my parenting.

Smart Suzuki Parent.  It’s not about the music.

Smart Suzuki Parent. It’s not about the music.

Huh?  How can that be – isn’t learning an instrument all about the music?  In my books, no!  In some ways, the music is a lovely side benefit.

So what is it about?  Why do I devote hours and hours every week to attending children’s music lessons and then helping them practice?

“Let me count the ways …”

Learning a musical instrument teaches my children invaluable life skills, that I vehemently believe, are so essential to life satisfaction and high achievement (in all facets of life).


Tenacity, the ability to struggle with a problem, fail, sometimes many times, feel discomfort and displeasure – but still persevere!  When a child sits down to learn a new piece on an instrument – grit is what they need to get through the uncomfortable place of not being able to do it.  Having to break up the piece and work on the sections and master elements before putting it all together, slowly, and then finally speeding it up.  Grit is when you come to lesson and you find out you learnt it wrong at home and you have to unlearn it before you can relearn.  Grit is making a mistake in a concert, and picking it up again and keeping going.


Self-control or conscientiousness – doing something even though you don’t want to because it is the right thing to do at that time.  Self-control may be delaying gratification, or doing what is right rather than what is easy.  Practicing badly is easier than practicing to improve.  Skipping quickly through practice without noting position, tone or musicality is easier than having to stop, think, take it slower, progress less quickly and perhaps have to stay at the instrument instead of watching television.  Self-control, is being bored in music lesson, but still being attentive and respectful to the teacher.  Self-control is not giving up the instrument, or not allowing your child to give up the instrument, when it gets ‘hard’ or when they get ‘bored’.


Zest is a joy for the moment and an expression of that joy.  Zest appears on the face of a child that plays a piece for the first time and she has the realisation that she did that – that was all her hard work!  Zest is the hug and high five between you and your child when you start practice with a sense of purpose and finish practice with a sense of accomplishment.  Zest is your feeling as a parent when they play a beautiful note, or bar, or piece and the music moves you and you think, wow, my child did that!

Social Intelligence

Social intelligence is understanding the meaning between the lines of speech.  It is reading the emotions of others beyond their words, and putting words to our own emotions, to manage them well.  When a child plays a piece like Lightly Row, and you tell them it sounded like their boat sunk (*laughing*) and then they play it again gently and beautifully – they are starting to understand how to express themselves and express meaning beyond words.  When your more advanced child, turns to his instrument when he needs to mull through goings on of the day and plays his pieces in a melancholy tone – this is social intelligence growing.  Social intelligence also grows when children have to praise and clap other children in concerts even if they are beginners.  And playing in a orchestra with others is the ultimate in listening and communicating as community, as one – to move an audience emotionally.


Gratitude is taking the time to reflect on what is good, in the midst of everyday chaos.  Gratitude is being able to kiss the back of my child’s neck when they are playing a piece and making them giggle.  Gratitude is also a long term aim of giving my child the opportunity to persevere with a musical instrument.  I hope one day my child will NOT say, “Mum, why did you let me give up my instrument?”  No-one ever says they wished they had given up earlier.


Practicing an instrument staves off “learned pessimism”.  When a child learns to persevere through failure everyday at their instrument, this forms neural highways that say to the child, “Don’t give up, you can do it because you’ve done it before”  Optimism is always knowing there is a way through.  Optimism is about NOT thinking your future in life is somehow set in stone from your genetic heritage or your environment.  Optimism is belief in yourself to navigate the speed bumps and not lose sight of your desired future, just like learning a new, difficult piece of music.


One view of curiosity is being interested in the unknown, including the unknown outside of our comfort zone.  Curiosity is still forging ahead to discover even when it is hard, you look stupid or you think you might not succeed.  Curiosity is having an open mind to possibilities for yourself.  Learning a musical instrument is everyday discovering what is outside your comfort zone – always trying more challenging pieces.  Instrument practice is certainly not always about playing perfectly, and always getting it right.  A young child knows that only playing the pieces she knows gets very boring and she inherently wants to learn a new piece.  She is forming neural pathways to tell her pleasure is stretching herself.  Invaluable for her future happiness and success!

These qualities can be gained from countless other activities including dance, sport, languages etc.  However the slight difference with learning a musical instrument is that the lesson once a week is the tiny tip of the iceberg where these skills are nurtured.  My kids do soccer but they don’t specifically practice every day outside of training and matches.  William learns dancing but he doesn’t have to practice each day.  I know children who are doing a sport intensively (like gymnastics, or ballet for example) where it is an almost daily practice – this mimics a musical instrument practice a lot more closely.

There has been oodles of commentary on social media about how the current generation of children in higher socio-economic environments are being parented such that they do not learn some of the skills I have listed above.  That they are overly protected from failing or suffering discomfort in their childhood, and as a result are not being adequately prepared for real life.  Could learning a musical instrument during the younger years be part of an antidote to this?

Well, being ‘helicoptered out of discomfort’ is not happening with my kids as much as I can control it (which is not much, really, actually ….).  Which means compulsory musical instrument instruction until High School!  Geez I am such a Tiger Mother huh?  But often I do still ‘save’ my kids – like dropping in forgotten lunch boxes etc to school ….. more work required.

What do you think?  Do you value your children learning the above skills?  Do you consciously put them in situations where they are challenged or uncomfortable?   I would LOVE to hear your thoughts so please pop a comment in below!

Melodic regards,